Meeting Myself
by Sandsibscrazy
Summary: ACCOUNT NO LONGER ACTIVE
1. Prologue

HEEHEE Ok I'm _very _excited about this. It's going to be really dumb but I promise there'll be a semblance of a plot! This is just a PROLOGUE. So expect longer, more plot filled chapters in the future! Also, this is to stop me from updating Break Me Take Me so often! If you get sick of this stupidity read that it'll sober you up :P Anyway! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: ****This literature is purely for recreational purposes. I gain no profit from the story. I do not own any rights to 'Naruto'.**

* * *

Team Seven gather around the Hokage's front desk. The woman gazes at them with a smirk.

"So what's the mission granny?" Naruto is impatient, they'd been summoned to her office five minutes ago and Tsunade hadn't said anything yet.

"Naruto! Be patient!" Sakura growls at him and swats the back of his head. Sasuke sighs beside them, asking himself not for the first time why he willingly came back to Konoha. Kakashi doesn't move besides the occasional giggle; his face was too far buried in his orange book.

"For the next few months you'll be all bunking together," Tsunade pauses to take in the cries of outrage. Oh how she loved her job.

"Shut up!" she yells after a pause, "Sasuke and Naruto will be rooming with some special guests. Kakashi and Sakura you will guard these visitors." Tsunade grins as Kakashi finally looks up in interest.

"The mission's specific requirements won't be revealed to you until later." The Hokage says to the four ninja.

Kakashi is the only one who nods once, accepting the mission. The other three state their disapproval at once.

"What if I can't eat ramen?"

"I'll be stuck with that dunce?"

"Lady Tsunade with all due respect, Naruto and Sasuke will kill each other."

"Enough! Report to this address within the hour, a room will be designated to you." Tsunade shook her fist at them, just in case they thought she wouldn't use force. Once they grab the slips of paper with the address on them she reclines in her chair, taking a swig of sake.

Naruto arrived at the apartment building with more than a few minute to spare. Granny would not have his head today! He happily bounds into the place. "Please check in Naruto." The orange clad boy jumps. In his excitement, he had not seen Shizune in the lobby.

He looks at the clipboard she handed him. He signs his name and notices the room number that's listed next to his name.

"Talk to you later Shizune-chan." The woman shakes her head as the young man ascends the stairs. The boy had no idea what he was getting into.

Naruto drops his small bag onto the bed. The room is pretty nice. It had all the necessities with a bathroom connected to it. He decides to freshen up a bit. He figures he might as well look nice for his guest.

Once he finishes his shower and gets fully dressed he hears some rustling inside his new room. He brandishes a kunai and throws open the door.

The sight that greets him is not what he had expected. Or rather who. A boy who looked so much like him is curiously looking around the room. Yet this clone of him was slightly smaller than him. He has a pink barrette in his hair, right next to golden fox ears. This clone is a tad curvier than him and the way he holds himself is a tad feminine as well. He wears a large t-shirt over some plain jeans.

Naruto cranes his head. The only thought in his head was that he fucked up the clone jutsu to all Hell.

"I'm going to dispel you." Naruto warns the clone, he wasn't even sure when he summoned it. Naruto just knows he needs to get rid of it. The thing was like a clone halfway through a transformation to his sexy no jutsu!

"What?" the clone looks up with large blue eyes, pouty pink lips quivering slightly. Naruto grimaces as he performs the hand sign. The clone did not disappear. Naruto tried again. Nothing. And again. It still does not work.

"What the hell?" Naruto asks incredulously. Why wasn't this clone going away?

"You must be my ninja counterpart. Hello." The clone says with a large fox like grin on his face. It makes him look even younger than he initially appeared.

"Whaaaaaaaaaa" Naruto draws out in confusion, scratching his head. Then it clicked. This is his guest, a Naruto imposter? Naruto snorts. The small teen looked nothing like him. Wait…

"Ninja counterpart?"

"Oh yes. We come from a parallel universe." The clone explains.

"Parallel universe? Then that means…" Naruto pales.

"Yes. I am you." Naruto would have screamed if someone else hadn't beaten him to it. The wail sounds suspiciously like a certain Uchiha.

Ten Minutes Earlier.

Sasuke sit on his bed waiting. He chooses to brood. Yet it was proving to be quite the arduous task. Yes his brother was still in hiding but he had reconciled with that fact. He needs something to angst about dammit! Maybe he could angst about his hair. Yes! it wasn't cooperating with him at all today. Damn hair. Just as Sasuke brought out his journal to begin to write poetry about his stupid hair there was a faint thudding on his door.

Curiosity got the better of him and he got up to open the door. When he opens the door two figures fell onto the ground but that didn't stop them from their actions. Sasuke's watches them make out on the floor. He realizes with vague disgust that the man on top had the same hair cut as his brother.

"Itachi!" he calls vicously. He felt as if his eyes would begin to bleed yet his brother didn't seem to hear him. That's when Sasuke notices something is wrong. Not only was Itachi wearing some strange overcoat but he doesn't sense any type of chakra on him at all. Sasuke's eyes narrow. This was genjutsu.

"Kai!" Sasuke did the necessary sign yet they don't disappear. Instead, the fake Itachi picks up his partner. The other person wrapped their legs around Itachi's waist and Itachi laid the person down on Sasuke's bed. Sasuke snarls. These nasty imposters were tainting his bed and totally ignoring him as they did it. His anger morphs into horror as the boy under this fake Itachi moved his head, turning dark eyes onto Sasuke as the fake Itachi kissed his neck. The ninja's eyes widen. He steps back from his new bed a bit.

"Oh." The ravished man exhales as he pushes the fake Itachi off of him. He slides off the bed and stands in front of Sasuke. The ninja looks him up and down with a slight glare. He looks at the black boots buckled over skin tight leather pants. The pants were tightened by a purple belt for whatever reason. There was an expanse of pale skin exposed where the teen's skin tight high collar black shirt did not reach his belt. The hickeys littering the teen's neck were almost the same color as the dusty eyeliner around black sultry eyes. These orbs were framed in inky bangs.

"Hey," the teen began seductively, "I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I'm assuming you are too?" The ex-rogue ninja took in the teen's outstretched hand, the smirking man sitting on the bed and then the hickeys on the teen's pale neck. Sasuke steps back from the teen that looks so much like him and promptly screams so loud he's sure the Kazekage could hear it.

* * *

Hehe look out for the first chapter! Thanks for reading. And review if you feel like it :3


	2. Chapter 1

Next chappie! I hope you enjoy!

Also, wtf is up with all these updates? Granted I was rubbed the wrong way when you deleted my story but this is just.. meh. Must we all know how many favorites and alerts a story has? Whatever it's not that big a deal just kinda ugly imo xD Sorry I think I'm still just a little butthurt about the deletion.

Anyway on with the show! ;P

**Disclaimer: ****This literature is purely for recreational purposes. I gain no profit from the story. I do not own any rights to 'Naruto'.**

* * *

Naruto glared across the table at what was supposed to be him. The small teen across from him ate quietly and timidly under his glare, a perpetual blush adorning his face. Naruto sighed and looked at the ninja beside him. If Naruto was glaring Sasuke was spewing death with his eyes at the teen across from him and the unexpected man.

It seemed like AU Naruto was the only person eating at the small meet and greet Tsunade had made them go to. Naruto wanted to point out that they all had already met, and not in the best of way, but one look from the Hokage stamped that desire down. So here he sat in a small cafeteria in the apartment building's basement, thoroughly agitated and uncomfortable. They were all waiting for the mission specifications.

Suddenly, the doors flew open and Tsunade stomped into the room.

"Well brats? Are you all buddies now?" Tsunade asked dangerously, eyeing the five seated at the large table. AU Naruto quickly nodded with a nervous smile, still looking down at his food. AU Sasuke and AU Itachi ignored her; too busy flirting with each other over the meal. Sasuke glared at them both.

"Hell no!" Naruto was the only one to respond. Tsunade turned on him, glaring at him for all its worth but Naruto didn't back down.

"I'm not getting along with that! That sniveling baby is not me." Naruto huffed and crossed his arms. AU Naruto looked up finally and turned his wide watery blue eyes on Naruto. The ninja looked away. He would not feel guilty. Nope. Not at all.

"What about me Naruto?" Sasuke snarled. "I have to watch _that_." He gestured violently over to AU Sasuke and AU Itachi who had started to feed each other. Sasuke put a hand on his mouth, ready to vomit. Suddenly, AU Naruto began to cry.

"Waaa~~ I miss Sasuke." He cried, rubbing his eyes as his wails increased. AU Sasuke and AU Itachi stop to glare at him. He was ruining the moment. Naruto felt bad. He never meant for the guy to cry. The ninja was just agitated. The small teen must miss his friend. Naruto could understand where he was coming from.

"Hey you're not _that _bad." He comforted awkwardly. AU Naruto moved his hands away from his eyes and visibly brightened.

"So we're friends?" AU Naruto asked.

"Well I wouldn't say _th_-"Tsunade leveled him with a glare as she moved behind the AU boys.

"Yes we are. We're the best of friends." Naruto smiled uncertainly in order to persuade the tiny boy. AU Naruto beamed at him.

"Sasuke will be pleased." AU Naruto grinned at him, his whiskers bunching up with the effort. His furry ears seemed to flick with matching happiness. Naruto smiled back.

"Tell me about your Sasuke." Naruto was honestly interested. The ninja beside him was being boring anyway. He was too busy glaring at the AU boys in front of him to hold a conversation. Tsunade walked around the table and took a seat beside Naruto. She must be interested as well.

"Oh! Sasuke is really cool!" AU Naruto began to gush and Naruto has the faint idea that he'd made a horrible mistake.

"Sasuke is very kind to me! When he allows me to go outside he is very protective of me. He makes sure no one bothers me. I'm sore a lot but it's ok because Sasuke knows when to be gentle. He can be scary sometimes but he's Sasuke!" AU Naruto finished with everyone's attention on him. AU Sasuke and AU Itachi smirked at this. Sasuke looked horrified, Tsunade amused and Naruto ecstatic. The feeling of dread he was feeling before completely vanished.

"It sounds like you guys are great friends." Naruto said and Tsunade tried to stifle her laughter. "But do you guys really spar that much? You don't have any healing abilities?" Tsunade couldn't help herself and she burst out into laughter. Her cackles echoed in the basement.

"Sparring? Oh no only warriors spar." AU Naruto smiled kindly.

"Then what the hell are you sore from?" That feeling of dread was back in Naruto's stomach. It doubled when AU Naruto's perpetual blush brightened and expanded over his face. His furry ears twitch as he stammered out something unintelligible.

"Naruto." AU Sasuke called with a smirk. Both of the blonds turned toward him. His smirk grew as he uncurled his hand from AU Itachi's.

"Sounds like this Naruto" he jerked his head at AU Naruto, "is getting fucked by his Sasuke." He added his own crude hand motions.

"What?" Naruto shrieked. He looked at AU Naruto for confirmation. The boy blushed unhelpfully before he spoke up.

"No." he whined much like a child. Naruto inwardly cheered as he let out a breath of relief. Damn, AU Sasuke was crass and inappropriate! "We call it making love." AU Naruto explained with a huff. Tsunade's cackles came forth yet again and Naruto sputtered like an idiot. Sasuke self-consciously scooted his chair away from Naruto. The ninja doesn't notice.

"What the hell!" he exclaimed. Right at that moment Kakashi and Sakura entered the room. They do a double take and then with new interest, took a place at the table.

"What's Itachi doing here?" Sakura asked frantically once they had taken a spot next to their comrades. Kakashi put away his book. He wondered this as well.

"He got caught up in your little voodoo magic shit while we were _busy_." AU Sasuke answered for them. Sasuke finally snapped.

"Busy! You were humping against my door!" he accused. Sakura's eyes widened. They were doing what?

"Little voodoo magic shit?" Kakashi echoed in offense.

"That's all you care about?" Naruto blew up as well, shrieking so loudly the people gathered felt as if they're being thrown back by its force. "Do you see this? Itachi and Sasuke won't keep their hands to themselves. I'm going to need bleach for my eyes on that one alone! Not to mention I don't think this Sasuke understands the purpose of clothes. And this Naruto is getting _done up the butt _by some possessively abusive Sasuke and totally ok with that. He looks like a girl too! Give them back Granny. You obviously messed up the Jutsu." Naruto finished as he folded his arms crossly.

"No. You're going to house them until you learn how to coexist." Tsunade said calmly, inspecting her nails.

"But Granny…" Naruto whined. Seeing AU Naruto out of his peripheral begin to sniffle again only made him want to double his efforts.

"I said no. Ask me again and your face will meet my first!" She bellowed. Her patience was completely gone by then.

"As for Itachi, I suppose he can stay. But make yourself scarce." She orders the man. AU Itachi nodded once.

Naruto pouted and glanced at AU Naruto. The teen was wiping away steadily falling tears. Naruto grimaced. He looked over at Sasuke. The ninja had his eyes closed and appeared to be meditating. Naruto couldn't blame him.

"There are plenty of rooms in this apartment building." Tsunade said glancing at AU Itachi, "pick one without Sasuke in it." AU Itachi looked at her dangerously and there's a tense silence. Even Tsunade paused at the intent that gleamed in his hard eyes. AU Sasuke smirked, ready for a show.

"I understand." He finally said. AU Sasuke glared at him. Everyone else let out a breath of relief. AU Naruto looked like he wanted to soil himself. Tsunade rubbed her temples and ordered them to their rooms. No one argued.

In Sasuke's room, the ninja glared as AU Sasuke stretched out on one of the beds. Thankfully it's the one AU Itachi and he had already christened. The tightly clad teen resembled a cat. He moaned as his joints pop. Sasuke almost activates his sharingan at a particularly loud groan of pleasure.

"You are disgusting." Sasuke finally said, sitting on the only other bed in the room with a sigh.

"I suppose so." AU Sasuke sat up with blank face. Sasuke looked at him with vague interest. Had he managed to offend him? Sasuke silently congratulated himself.

"But then again, that's why I'm so much better than you." AU Sasuke added with a saucy wink and a smirk.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh you heard me. You wish you had this much sex appeal." AU Sasuke taunted.

"You're screwing Itachi." Sasuke argued, trying not to look at the boy. He felt just looking at his exposed stomach would give him STD's.

"With good reason too. It must be a dominant Uchiha gene because Itachi has one massi-"Sasuke's hand covered AU Sasuke's pierced mouth.

"Don't finish that statement." Sasuke threatened as he quickly removed his hand as if burned. He could practically feel the STD's crawling over his skin.

"Oooh you're fast." AU Sasuke complimented, "Is that how all hmm... what was it? Ninjas. Are all ninja's that fast?" Sasuke puffs up in pride.

"Only the good ones." Sasuke bragged.

"So only _you_ are fast in bed?" AU Sasuke was pinned to the wall in an instant. Sasuke's Sharingan whirled dangerously.

"I kid." AU Sasuke smirked, not realizing the danger he's in. Sasuke dropped him in agitation. He shouldn't let this guy provoke him. He goes back over to his bed.

"Don't bother me." Sasuke told him coldly.

"Fuck you're such an asshole!"

"And you're a whore." AU Sasuke laughed at the insult.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't meant to be."

"Too bad." AU Sasuke smirked as the ninja tried to ignore him. _No one _ignored him. He decided to lay his trap.

"We're pretty hot aren't we?" AU Sasuke inwardly smirked as he got the ninja's attention.

"Shut up."

"Don't you see it? Granted, you have more muscles than I do but I dress much sexier than you do." Sasuke didn't rise to the baited compliment. AU Sasuke decided to switch tactics.

"Let's fool around." Well that got Sasuke's attention. He choked on his own saliva ungracefully.

"Unlike you, I'm not some horny slut." Sasuke insulted once he'd cleared his throat. AU Sasuke got up off his bed.

"You sure?" he asked as he sauntered over toward Sasuke's bed. Sasuke glared at him. He's at the door in seconds.

"You disgust me." Sasuke told him as he jiggled the doorknob. It doesn't budge.

"Having issues?"

"Shut up." Sasuke tried to throw himself into the door. It still doesn't budge. His hand lit with the Chidori.

"Whoa!" Sasuke ignored the teen's shout of awe and attempted to break the door with his Jutsu. The door propelled him back.

"We're stuck in here." Sasuke muttered in disbelief from his place on the floor. Tsunade had trapped them here. AU Sasuke joined him on the floor.

"Let me see some more of that ninja magic!"

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Sorry this wasn't all that funny but the first chapter _is _always the hardest and I had to put some things into place. Ah well. Suggest a pairing and I may just put it in! (That's what Sasuke said)

Please feel free to drop any suggestions in the _**Suggestion Box** _below! Where I might just use them.


	3. Chapter 2

Well I decided to post this up early because why the hell not? It doesn't have that big of a fanbase anyway so it doesn't really matter xD I'm REALLY not feeling the new updates on Fanfiction but whatever as long as I can still share stories it's ok.

**Disclaimer: ****This literature is purely for recreational purposes. I gain no profit from the story. I do not own any rights to 'Naruto'.**

* * *

Naruto kicked at the door with a frustrated huff. Granny had locked them in! He stomped over to the bed and sat down irritated. This was just great; he was stuck with Mr. Sniffles. Speaking of which...

AU Naruto sat on his bed quietly, observing the ninja across from him curiously. His ears flicked every so often.

"Umm…" Naruto looked over at his counterpart to see why he had spoken. He started rubbing at his furry ears self-consciously, that damn blush on his face.

"What?" Naruto asked. AU Naruto was worse than Hinata!

"You're a ninja?" AU Naruto giggled slightly.

"Yea."

"Sasuke reads to me about ninjas!" AU Naruto squealed. Naruto sprawled across his bed with a groan.

"Yea? What does he say?" Naruto willed himself not to picture it as he looked at the white ceiling. But dammit all imagine it he did. He imagined Sasuke holding a big picture book, ushering all the little kids to gather around and speaking in a baby voice. He cooed at his small lover as he took place in the center of little animal people. Naruto shuddered and quickly locked the thought away.

"Oh he talks about how powerful they are! They are his ancestors after all. Umm..." Naruto glanced at the fox like teen.

"Perhaps your Sasuke is an ancestor of his!" AU Naruto crowed gleefully. Naruto grimaced.

"Don't call him that."

"Call him what?"

"_My _Sasuke."

"Why?

"Me an' the Sasuke of my world aren't... like that." Naruto _really_ didn't want to offend the teen, lest there be waterworks, but he had to set that straight.

"You don't make love?" AU Naruto cocked his head to the side. Naruto winced.

"No, we don't."

"Kiss?" Another wince. Well there were those two times he supposed but - Naruto quickly shook that thought away. The teen was obviously getting to him.

"No." Naruto denied forcibly.

"You don't hold hands?"

"No! We aren't gay!" Naruto erupted, sitting up indignantly.

"Oh." AU Naruto's voice was soft. Naruto blinked.

"Hey man, no offense." Naruto said reluctantly. He never was good at saying sorry. AU Naruto nodded accepting his apology. The two descended into an awkward silence.

(~~)

"So this...chakra is your life source?" AU Sasuke asked. Sasuke told him he would teach him about the basics if the teen would keep his hands to himself. AU Sasuke agreed but Sasuke couldn't help but watch the teen warily as they shared his bed.

Sasuke nodded once at the teen's question.

"I suppose you can think of it that way." One thing Sasuke had learned about the teen was that he was very bright. Almost as bright as he was. Well, he was him in essence but then… he wasn't if you really thought about it. Sasuke sighed, not caring enough about who was who to bring on an awaiting headache.

"Show me one of your jutsus." AU Sasuke demanded more than asked. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. He didn't appreciate being ordered around. AU Sasuke rolled his eyes at the look.

"Calm your panties Sasuke." Sasuke didn't know whether to be offended or creeped out. He still wasn't used to seeing himself twenty four seven. Or insulting himself. Well it wasn't himself really- Sasuke cut this thought off with a groan of aggravation. This bootleg soul searching was really grinding his nerve.

AU Sasuke misinterpreted the sound and got on his knees on the bed.

"My apologies kind sir," AU Sasuke said primly with a slight bow, "may I gaze upon the jutsu of your profession?"

"Fine." Sasuke glared at him, the ninja knew when he was being mocked, and summoned chakra. He stood up. AU Sasuke smirked and sat back down.

Sasuke crackled with lightning, it engulfed his whole body. He noted with some satisfaction the loose teen sitting on his bed looked close to awestruck.

He released the jutsu with a small smirk. AU Sasuke licked his lips. Sasuke's smirk dropped.

"That was pretty fucking hot." AU Sasuke told him.

"Get off my bed." Sasuke ordered.

"Can't we both sleep here?"

"No."

"Shit, I miss Itachi. He'd let me share his bed." As if that was going to make the ninja invite him under the covers.

"Shut up." Sasuke was about to forcibly remove the teen.

"You and your Itachi never fool around?" AU Sasuke seemed genuinely shocked by this. Sasuke's eyes flashed dangerously.

"I said shut up." Sasuke glared down at the crudely dressed teen.

"Why not?" Sasuke considered just throttling the teen but he knew the Hokage would give him D-ranks for life so he replied instead.

"He killed the entire clan when I was eight" Not that if he hadn't they'd fool around! Sasuke vehemently denied in his head. The ninja waited for a response, his counterpart's expression was unreadable. Finally he said,

"And?" The room was completely silent. Sasuke sat next to the teen. For the first time he felt a bit bad for the teen. He dropped a bombshell. Obviously, the teen didn't understand.

"Sasuke," the ninja feels extremely weird saying this, "he killed the _entire _Uchiha family. He killed mom and dad."

"So?" Sasuke reeled back at the words as if he'd been slapped. AU Sasuke continued with a scoff, "It was in the past, who cares?"

Before Sasuke could respond to that a scroll appears in thin air; the ninja caught it instinctively.

"What does it say?" AU Sasuke moved beside the ninja as he unrolled the scroll. Sasuke ignored him. He paled as he read the scroll.

"We have to complete certain tasks before we get released from this room." Sasuke explained without being prompted. There was that headache! AU Sasuke plucked the scroll out of his hands and read it over.

"I'm going first."

(~~)

Naruto read over the scroll a few times. He was glad he can get rid of the awkward silence but to fill the silence with _this_. He hid his discontent well.

"What is it?" AU Naruto asked curiously.

"We need to do this or granny won't let us out." Naruto explained. AU Naruto nods but he still doesn't understand. Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"First we gotta play twenty questions." At the blank look he received he assumed AU Naruto had no idea what that entails.

"Eh, basically we go back and forth askin' each other questions."

"Ok!" AU Naruto nods excitedly with a bright smile. Naruto grins back. He was already warming up to the idea.

"I'll ask first!" Naruto feels his own excitement taking over. He admits, 20 questions sounded pretty fun.

"Hmm what's your favorite color?" Naruto decides to play it safe.

"Dark blue," Naruto nods at this but the fox like teen wasn't finished, "because it reminds me of Sasuke's hair."

"Nice." Naruto smiles uneasily. "Your turn."

"Are you a virgin?" AU Naruto asked kindly, his eyes pinched closed in a smile. Naruto sputtered idiotically.

"What!" he shrieked.

"Never mind, I can smell it on you. You are a virgin." AU Naruto nodded to himself. Naruto crossed his arms, offended to no end, but his interest is piqued.

"Smell it?" Naruto didn't think it was possible. AU Naruto nodded proudly.

"I have the best nose in Konoha! You should too!" AU Naruto practically bounced off the bed in his excitement.

"Oh yea! Well I bet I'm better!" Naruto bragged, shoving a thumb to his chest, anger forgotten.

"Well? Test it out!" AU Naruto encouraged. Naruto needed nothing else and he summoned the Kyuubi's heightened senses to the forefront. He smelled himself first, a mixture of ramen and a natural musk. Then he focused on the boy across from him. Immediately, a sweet smell assaulted his nostrils but it wasn't exactly unpleasant. In fact, it drew him closer to the boy and before he knew it he was on the furry eared teen's bed, sniffing his neck. He felt his eyes change, they grew narrower and he knew for a fact they were blood red. But as if he got hit in the head, a strong forest-like smell overwhelms his senses and Naruto stepped off of the bed. It felt like a warning. He never heeded those so he disregarded it. Naruto searched underneath that scent strong scent. He immediately wished he hadn't.

Naruto's hands flew up to grasp his powerful nose as the scent permeated the air. The brat smelled exactly like the brothels Jiraiya used to take him to. It wasn't the incense oh no. AU Naruto smelled strongly of sex. Naruto recoiled in horror once he had pinpointed that smell. He was back on his bed in a beat, forcing the Kyuubi's influence to disappear.

"What the hell!" Naruto yelled indignantly once he was sure he didn't smell that awful scent anymore. AU Naruto blushed and looked away. He was fidgeting sporadically and no longer smiling.

"Well?" Naruto asked thoroughly put out, he needed some type of explanation as to why the small teen decided to show (let him smell) that. AU Naruto started whining similar to how Akamaru would whine when denied attention.

"What is it?" Naruto asked again impatiently but he felt a bit of worry accompany it. There was obviously something wrong.

"You've activated my heat."

"…your what?"

"My heat."

"Still not gettin' it!" Well more like he refused to get it. How animal-like was this Naruto?

"You've stimulated my seal. You have no choice." Naruto looked confused as the teen sorrowfully looked down at the bed, pulling at the covers in a firm grip.

"I have no choice? With what?"

"You must mate with me…please."

(~~)

Both Sasuke's glanced up at the scream that shook the whole building. They both shrugged and resumed their argument.

"It's called 20 questions, whore. You've asked the same question four times already." Sasuke was about to lose his cool. Five minutes into the game and already he knew he was not going to get along with the guy.

"I just wanted to compare!" AU Sasuke defended. Sasuke glared as the boy sprawled all over his bed.

"You want to have sex." Sasuke said, getting up off of the bed. He was disgusted that he even had to share the same air as the teen.

"You're jumping to conclusions. I simply wanted to know your cock size." AU Sasuke informed him with a sniff, as if he was really offended.

"You cupped my penis."

"My ninja counterpart is such a prude!" AU Sasuke sighed dramatically, putting a hand on his forehead for emphasis. Suddenly they both heard footsteps outside of the door. As soon as they refocused their eyes on it, the door swung open. Tsunade stood in the opening.

"Get out, there's been an emergency." Tsunade barked. Kakashi showed himself behind her. Sasuke gladly took the chance; he couldn't care less what the emergency was. AU Sasuke was another thing entirely. He started to sulk.

"But he was finally starting to flirt with me." He glared at Tsunade.

"I have never, nor had the desire to, flirted with _you_." Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Kakashi looked at him in interest. He didn't believe that BS did he? Tsunade walked over to the bed and picked the teen up by his tight shirt easily. She threw him out of the room, literally.

"Escort them to the basement." She ordered, crossing her arms.

"Of course." Kakashi's visible eye curved in a grin and he ushered the two boys through the building. As they walked Sasuke tried to ignore all those around him but he realized it was oddly silent. Besides the occasional perverted laugh from Kakashi there were no other sounds. Against his better judgment, he glanced over at the teen beside him.

The first thing he noticed was the teens slumped over appearance. He walked sluggishly, as if he had the world on his back. His eyes were downcast and now that Sasuke was paying attention, he noticed a faint sigh every so often.

Sasuke smirked, assuming it was from Tsunade's wrath. Well, that was what he got. Sasuke nodded in satisfaction and faced forward again. AU Sasuke suddenly coughed thickly and Sasuke heard him collapse.

Kakashi paused and pocketed his book to peer at the teen. The teen lay on the floor stiff and silent. Kakashi and Sasuke exchanged a look. AU Sasuke suddenly sat up, so quick in fact he managed to startle the two ninja.

"Why hello.." AU Sasuke's sultry voice filled the quiet hallway. Both ninja stepped back. Jutting past the teen's lips were two elongated canines glistening in the dim hallway light.

* * *

Oh ho ho! hee I think I'm a little too excited about this. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! I'm a huge pervert and I'm sure this chapter showed that lmao

_**~~REMEMBER~~**_

**Suggest a Pairing! I may just put it in** (That's what Sasuke said)

Reviews loved and appreciated, flames welcome :)


	4. Chapter 3

RIGHT, so this is completely late but I've been devastatingly busy lately. Sorry! I'll make it up to you guys!

Also, anyone who reads 'Break Me, Take Me' as well know that the hiatus is _very _temporary. I'm almost done the chapter actually. Like I said, I've just been really busy. Oh and a quick rant!

The amount of Zabuza x Haku stories are severely lacking! I want more dammit! There's either awesome oneshots, shitty ones or FemHaku. I try not to hate on people who want to convey Haku as a woman but come oooooooooooonnnnnn! This was the first yaoi pairing I've shipped back in the day. I guess I am a bit butt hurt.

Okay. I promise I'm done now.

**Disclaimer: ****This literature is purely for recreational purposes. I gain no profit from the story. I do not own any rights to 'Naruto'.**

* * *

**Quick Recap:**

**Naruto and Sasuke, two ninja have been given a perplexing mission in which they must get to know themselves. AU Naruto and AU Sasuke have weird quirks. AU Naruto is in heat and AU Sasuke just seems horny. **

AU Sasuke was off the floor in an instant, brushing off his tight pants haughtily. Sasuke and Kakashi brandished their weapons.

"Where's Itachi?" AU Sasuke asked through his fangs as he sniffed the air. Sasuke couldn't hide his smirk and the grip on his kunai went lax. This was more like it!

"Sasuke," both teens looked at the masked ninja," what do you want from Itachi?" AU Sasuke glared him down before he vanished.

"What was that?" Kakashi asked with a slight laugh, scratching his cheek. Sasuke shot him a glare before he moved toward the loud sounds coming from under them. Kakashi followed after him to reach the basement. All of the tables and chairs had been pushed toward the walls. In the middle fought AU Sasuke and AU Itachi. Tsunade stood at the far left, not moving to stop them. She placed a hand on AU Naruto's head in comfort as he fret in a seat beside her. Naruto was on the other side of the room, observing the two silently. He seemed distracted.

"Brother!" AU Sasuke yelled as he ran at AU Itachi. The long haired man growled through long fangs and his eyes flashed red for a brief moment before he ran towards his brother as well. They collided and fell to the floor. AU Sasuke was quick and pinned the larger man to the floor with a growl.

The ninja and AU Naruto held their breath. All except Sasuke. He was so excited he thought he could hardly contain it. AU Sasuke may be worthwhile after all, he thought as he took in the dangerous site.

AU Sasuke leaned down and everyone leaned forward a bit in interest. Then, the vampire started violently humping his brother.

"You dumb fuck! Do you know how fucking horny I am?" Everyone sweat dropped. AU Itachi pushed him off and tsked.

"Acting like a bitch in heat, as always." AU Naruto blushed at how well it applied to himself. He glanced over at his ninja counterpart. Naruto caught the look and quickly glanced away with a frown.

"Fuck you." AU Sasuke hissed. In an instant he was pinned to the wall right behind AU Naruto.

"Shut up." AU Itachi muttered before he dropped him on the floor. The dangerous man nodded to Tsunade before he made his way back up the apartment building. AU Sasuke sulked as he watched the man leave.

"What?" Sasuke stated more than asked. He was ignored.

"Well well well." AU Sasuke's smirk was back. He stood in front of AU Naruto, a hand on his hip. The small teen trembled slightly from the power and dominance the vampire held.

"Don't fear me little one… my do you smell _delicious_." Faster than Tsunade can react the vampire had AU Naruto on the ground. The fanged teen grinned evilly. AU Naruto was stock still, staring up at AU Sasuke with wide eyes. Right as AU Sasuke leaned over he was suddenly colliding into the wall. The stone burst around his body.

"Get the hell away from him asshole." Naruto growled as he balled his hand into a fist once more.

"Piss off sexy, I'm gettin' laid." AU Sasuke detached himself from the wall and glared at the ninja who had attacked him.

"The hell you are!" And Naruto threw himself at the vampire. They fought viciously. Throwing punches at each other and trying to pin each other down. Sasuke became mad. If anyone was going to punch the hell outta that Sasuke it would be him! He joined the fray, attacking both of them. They threw punches at each other savagely. They had no technique. They were driven by wild anger.

Kakashi sighed helplessly and walked into the fray. He picked up AU Naruto from the ground so they wouldn't harm him and deposited him in the chair he was once in ungracefully.

"Thank you." AU Naruto's shining eyes looked up at the masked ninja with so much adoration that he had to glance away.

"No problem kid." He said before he redirected his attention toward Tsunade. "Are you going to do anything?" She had been standing there the whole time with her arms crossed, a blank look on her face. She waved her hand.

"Let them get it out." Kakashi continued to look at her before turning toward the fight yet again. Naruto grabbed AU Sasuke's collar, lifting him above his head. Sasuke tried to fight his comrade while trying to get his hits on the disarmed vampire as well. AU Sasuke thrashed wildly in the iron like grip. Naruto reeled back his fist-

"Stop it!" Suddenly, AU Naruto had thrown himself at them, his lower lip quivering. Naruto dropped AU Sasuke after he punched him. The small teen ran into his chest. Sasuke took his chance to pin his counterpart into the ground.

He sat on the vampires legs, his sharingan blazing.

"Oh now we're talking!" AU Sasuke smirked. He wasn't even winded while the heavy Uchiha harshly breathed on top of him. The vampire ground his hip upwards, trying to touch the ninja's crotch. Sasuke quickly got off of him in disgust.

Naruto was just as uncomfortable. His smaller counterpart had his arms tightly wound around his torso while he nuzzled into his chest. He patted AU Naruto's fluffy hair awkwardly.

AU Sasuke got off the floor and stood in front of duo. Naruto glared openly at him. AU Sasuke scoffed.

"I didn't know you guys were fucking, damn." Naruto guessed that was his way of apoloz- …wait!  
"Shut up asshole." Naruto really wanted to sock him one but AU Naruto had a solid grip that was hard to shake off.

"See Sasuke. We could be just like them." The vampire addressed the tired ninja. Sasuke glared at him and sat down in the chair Naruto had once sat in.

"You're right. No cuddling shit, just fuckin'." AU Sasuke conceded with a sigh. Sasuke looked at him incredulously, his head pounding wildly. Kakashi decided to step forward.

"Wouldn't having sex with Sasuke upset Itachi?" Kakashi asked, for once genuinely curious. He tried not to think of that scenario too hard though. AU Sasuke let out a bark of a laugh. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"So? How about it?" AU Sasuke asked with a hand on his hip.

"You sl-"

"Enough!" Tsunade had finally stepped in. Everyone turned their attention toward her.

"You all act like a bunch of children." She began. "Since you want to behave like one I'll treat you like one. Go and freshen up. Be down for dinner in an hour."

The three who fought looked like they were about to protest.

"If anyone objects they will be sent back to their world for good or they'll be on D-ranks for a year." That quickly shut their mouths.

"Good. Now go." Sasuke was the first to leave with a scoff. He felt dirty anyway. AU Sasuke sulked after him but he perked up exponentially when he caught site of the ninja's ass. Naruto gently pried the small teen off of him and followed after those two. AU Naruto followed after him like a lost puppy.

Tsunade turned to Kakashi.

"You too Hatake."

"Of course." And he made his way to his room as well lest he feel the wrath of the Fifth.

(~~)

Sasuke sighed as the bathroom doorknob jiggled for the umpteenth time. AU Sasuke had been trying to get into the shower with him ever since he stepped in. He claimed it would save water. Sasuke wasn't stupid enough to believe that.

"I would've never pegged my ninja counterpart to be so wasteful!" Sasuke snorted at the bait. He had to hand it to the guy, he was very persistent. Sasuke balked at that thought. He wasn't handing AU Sasuke anything! He would not condone any of vampire's behavior. With that thought, he turned off the shower and stepped out to get dressed.

He exited the bathroom to see AU Sasuke rifling through his own luggage- when had that gotten there?- distractedly.

"It's yours." Sasuke said. AU Sasuke looked up with a start.

"Oh ok thanks." AU Sasuke smiled at him before taking his bundle of clothes into the attached bathroom. Confused, Sasuke watched him go. No flirting? No cursing? Actual appreciation? Sasuke's eyes narrowed in suspicion before he left the room.

(~~)

Naruto sat on his bed impatiently, waiting for AU Naruto to finish his bath. He could hear the small fox boy humming in there and an occasionally splash. He finally reached his matter line when he heard a giggle. He went over to the bathroom door and knocked.

"You almost done?" he asked. The splashing immediately stopped.

"I need some help!" Naruto, ever the hero, thought nothing of it and opened the door. Could the boy be drowning?

AU Naruto sat in a bathtub filled with bubbles. A blush heating his round face.

"What the hell?" Naruto shrieked. He didn't look like he needed help!

"Aren't you getting in?" AU Naruto asked him.

"No way!" Naruto shrieked and AU Naruto pouted at this and got out of the tub.

"Fine." AU Naruto continued to pout and left the bathroom. Naruto was speechless for once. Had the guy no shame? He didn't even bother drying off and he was parading around naked! The sight interested him - no it didn't! – slightly. He blushed slightly as he started the shower. It was obvious now that the fox teen was a boy. Naruto shook the thought away and quickly disrobed. He was done thinking about this!

(~~)

Sasuke sat at the table. Kakashi sat across from him, reading his book nonchalantly. He looked up when the door opened. His eyes widened slightly when he saw AU Sasuke. The boy's outfit had changed. He now wore thigh high black leather boots, a pair of tight black shorts and a black belly shirt that would've put Sai's to shame.

The teen immediately made his way over to Sasuke and sat down.

"Food!" the teen said and Sasuke noticed two things. One, his fangs were gone. Two, he seemed much chipper. He decided not to ask. The door opened with a bang and AU Naruto stormed in with a pout on his face. He sat next to Kakashi heavily and didn't say a thing. Naruto entered seconds after him.

"Are you ignoring me?" Naruto asked as he took a seat next to his counterpart. If there was one thing he hated, it was being ignored. AU Naruto answered him by crossing his arms and looking away from the ninja.

"Trouble in paradise?" AU Sasuke snickered. Both Naruto's shot him a glare. He shrugged at them with a large smile on his face. Sasuke never wanted to see that expression on his own face ever again.

"Why are you so happy?" the ninja asked before he could stop himself. AU Sasuke glanced at him.

"Had some fun in the shower." He winked at him. Sasuke was so sorry he asked.

Suddenly Sakura came into the room.

"After you've eaten you are all to complete the next task. I will escort you there." Sakura informed them. They didn't answer her and she glared at them. Whatever, if they were confused later it was on them.

She sat next to Kakashi and began to eat. AU Sasuke glanced at her briefly before he redirected his attention to Sasuke.

"I'm going to dye my hair that color." He announced. Sasuke paused.

"I don't care." He muttered. AU Sasuke glared.

"I really will. Will you still love me?" AU Sasuke leaned over and pouted in front of the ninja. Sasuke pushed him away.

"Sasuke…" AU Sasuke whined. Sasuke's sharingan flared with agitation.

"Shut up."

Across the table, AU Naruto was ignoring his ninja counterpart no matter how hard he tried to instigate a conversation.

"What's your problem?" Naruto finally snapped. AU Naruto crossed his arms, his ears twitching irritably.

"As if you care." AU Naruto sniffed. Naruto's mouth dropped before he closed it irritably and glared.

"If I didn't care I wouldn't have asked." He muttered angrily. AU Naruto started sniffling.

"Really?" he asked in wonder, gazing into eyes so similar to his own. Naruto glanced away, still a bit angry.

"Yea." Naruto was sick of his mood swings though. AU Naruto blushed.

"I'm sorry." The little teen said, "it's just…my heat."

Naruto nodded quickly in acknowledgement, embarrassed. He felt something brush against his thigh and he jumped. He glanced down. AU Naruto's hand was caressing his thigh. Naruto quickly swatted the appendage away.

AU Naruto looked up at him, his eyes glistening.

"Let's go!" Sakura had cut in, a strained smile on her face. These random boys were touching her teammates! She saw it all and she was incensed at their blatant flirting.

Sasuke got up first, eager to step away from AU Sasuke. The teen followed after him quickly. Naruto was next; he couldn't stand the way AU Naruto was looking at him. The small teen was right after him.

Sakura had performed a jutsu and a latched door appeared on the floor.

"We'll travel underground." Sakura explained needlessly. They followed her into the tunnel, the only thing lighting it was a few torches along the wall. It was very dim. It wasn't a minute before AU Naruto sniffled.

"I'm scared." He whispered, although his voice echoed loud enough that everyone heard it. Everyone proceeded to ignore him. AU Sasuke walked beside his counterpart, interested in the glowing red eyes he suddenly had.

AU Naruto pouted and tugged on his taller ninja counterpart's shirt. Naruto looked down at him.

"I'm scared." AU Naruto repeated. Naruto groaned.

"It's just a tunnel."

"You're right." AU Naruto began to cry. "I'm sorry. I'm such a baby." Well Naruto had to agree but he felt bad that he had made the guy cry. He sighed.

"If I carry you will you stop crying?" AU Naruto nodded as he rubbed at his eyes. Naruto exhaled heavily and picked up the small teen. AU Naruto settled into his arms like a baby.

"Why don't you pick me up?" AU Sasuke asked the ninja next to him.

"Are you scared?" Sasuke asked without looking at him.

"Of course not." AU Sasuke snorted. "Wait! If I was would you carry me?"

Sasuke didn't answer him and AU Sasuke sulked. They carried on in silence.

Ten minutes later the tunnel ended above ground. As soon as Naruto was on the dirt ground he set the small boy down. The group assembled in the forest.

Sakura continued to walk. Five minutes later they reached a clearing and everyone's stomachs dropped when they saw what was in it. One tent sat in the middle of the clearing. In front of it were four back packs.

"Good luck!" Sakura grinned and vanished. Kakashi chuckled and disappeared as well. Naruto looked toward the three others gathered and let out an earth shattering yell.

"Damn it granny!"

* * *

Alrighty! That's all for now! I hope you enjoyed.

**Suggest a pairing using any these people with whoever. **If you'd like of course.

Naruto

AU Naruto

Sasuke

AU Sasuke

AU Itachi

Also, THE REASON WHY SAKURA ISN'T IN THIS MUCH IS BECAUSE I FUCKING HATE SAKURA AND I KNEW I'D END UP BASHING HER.

Ahem, anyways, please tell me what you think :)


	5. Chapter 4

Ok here it go. Now, I'm pretty sure what I want to do with the pairing now but I'm still open to a little fan service. Haha. Also, no AU Itachi in this chapter :( I know!

I know no one reads these anyway so I can say whatever I want. I frickin hate Sasuke. Legit he is so damn annoying. And it's funny because he's the main character in every single one of my published stories. I think it's because I could give two shits if I portray him a certain way. Damn little Uchiha. Itachi owns!

**Disclaimer: ****This literature is purely for recreational purposes. I gain no profit from the story. I do not own any rights to 'Naruto'.**

* * *

"Shut up moron." Sasuke said. Naruto had been shaking his backpack and complaining all the while sitting pretzel style. They sat in a circle on the dirt floor, devising a plan. Naruto stopped to stick his tongue out at the ninja.

"We'll deal with this." Sasuke gestured between Naruto and himself, talking to the AU teenagers. Naruto nodded.

"Yea, we have this." Naruto agreed. They were ninja's after all; they could deal with a forest. They slept in them on almost every mission.

"You want to protect me?" AU Sasuke smirked and leaned on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke shook him off.

"You can't deal with this type of terrain." Sasuke stated simply. AU Sasuke huffed.

"You underestimate me!" He got up. "We'll collect firewood. Come on sexy." He pulled on AU Naruto, forcing the tiny teen up onto his feet. AU Naruto looked back at his ninja counterpart. Naruto gave a lopsided smile for encouragement.

"Well, ok." AU Naruto said softly before they both disappeared into the forest. Sasuke sighed once they left.

"Hopefully that'll kill them."

"Sasuke!"

The Uchiha smirked.

"If they die we'll get stuck on D-ranks for the year!"

His smirk turned into a frown.

"Then we need to trail them."

"Why?" Sasuke glared at Naruto's stupidity.

"Because, idiot, they aren't used to our world. If that forest is dangerous for a civilian it'll be dangerous for them."

Naruto nodded, feeling his own excitement taking over.

"You're right! Let's go!" He got up but was pulled down immediately by Sasuke.

"First, you need to quiet down. Second, we can't let them know we're behind them."

"Alright, let's go." Naruto whispered and then jumped up into a tree. Sasuke rolled his eyes and followed suit. They stood on the branch for a moment. They spotted the two not too far away from the campsite.

"They didn't get far." Naruto remarked.

"They aren't ninja." Sasuke retorted smugly.

They looked on as their two counterparts collected wood. Suddenly, AU Naruto screamed.

The two ninja braced themselves to jump down and fight.

AU Naruto hid behind AU Sasuke, pointing a shaking finger at a bush.

"What is it?" Naruto asked and Sasuke started, almost falling out of the tree. He was so into the scene he hadn't noticed Naruto get so close. He was so close in fact Sasuke could feel his breath fanning across his face. He shifted away, suddenly feeling hot. His stomach felt as if it was twisting. Damn indigestion, the Hokage must have cooked the dinner. He remembered Naruto's question.

"How would I know, idiot?" He snipped, eyes narrowing further when AU Sasuke approached the bush cautiously. He activated his sharingan.

"Jeez what's your problem?" Naruto grumbled.

"Shut up."

"Bastard."

"Shut up."

Suddenly, AU Sasuke jumped back pulling AU Naruto with him. A large sleek snake jumped with him. He was about a quarter of Manda's size. Sasuke and Naruto brandished kunai but continued to watch as AU Sasuke dropped into a fighting stance. They watched his fangs elongate and he began to hiss.

The snake was not deterred and lunged at him. AU Sasuke was caught off guard and was forced to jump away. He was unable to grab AU Naruto in time and he fell to the ground. It felt like slow motion as the snake came toward AU Naruto who sat frozen in fear. Naruto pushed off of the tree as did Sasuke.

They leapt in front of the snake but AU Naruto wasn't there anymore. The snake was pinned to the floor. All three looked up in various stages of awe as a sleek yellow fox grasped onto the snakes neck and hung on. Paws grasped onto the tough skin, thick claws sinking into the snake's back. The animal's teeth sunk into the large snake and refused to let go.

Finally, the snake lay there, unmoving and the fox leapt off of it. It sat next to Naruto and licked its paws. Naruto inched away from it. Sasuke

AU Sasuke joined them, a smirk held upon his face.

"Impressive." He said, stroking the fox's ears eliciting purrs. Naruto's mouth finally closed up before he spoke.

"You can transform!" Naruto grinned, petting the fox on its head. The fox shook his hand off of him and began to lick the hand. The creature began to whine.

"What's wrong?" Naruto asked, crossing his arms out of the reach of the fox's snout so it couldn't lick him anymore.

The fox's whines increased in volume until the creature was screaming. It sounded like a combination of a bark and growl mixed in with hisses. The other three stepped back but the fox would have none of it. He jumped on Naruto and knocked him down still making odd noises. Sasuke pulled the fox off before Naruto could react and held it in the air by the scruff of its neck. Naruto got up as the fox snarled and growled, trying to get out of Sasuke's grasp.

A bright light enveloped the fox and then the creature had changed back into AU Naruto. Sasuke still held him, wary of his behavior. The small teen was breathing harshly, his face sticky with sweat. He went lax in Sasuke's grasp.

Sasuke set him down and glanced at Naruto. The ninja shrugged, unsure what to do about the situation.

"What was that all about?" Naruto asked with a sheepish laugh, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. When in doubt, resort to humor. Sasuke glared at the effort. AU Sasuke started cackling, holding his stomach in mirth.

"Sorry." AU Naruto blushed, his ears flicking every so often. There was an awkward silence.

"Damn you took that snake the fuck down!" AU Sasuke crowed after a long pause, still laughing breathlessly. He put a hand down on AU Naruto's head, rubbing at the center of his hair roughly.

"Thanks." AU Naruto said shyly with a slight smile. He looked up at Naruto. The ninja refused to meet his eyes, instead glanced at a tree.

Sasuke had begun to silently collect the wood the two had dropped in their fight against the snake. Naruto followed suit.

"I warned you of this forest. Leave it to me and Naruto." Sasuke finally said.

"We were fine." AU Sasuke sniffed derisively.

"He was," Sasuke straightened pointing at AU Naruto, "you weren't."

AU Sasuke crossed his arms and glared at his ninja counterpart. Sasuke dropped the sticks he'd collected and mirrored the teen's actions.

"I had it perfectly under control." AU Sasuke snarled at him. Sasuke snorted, rolling his eyes.

"That's not what I saw." He smirked. AU Sasuke glared.

"You are mistaken." Sasuke scoffed at this.

"You are delusional." With a growl AU Sasuke lunged at Sasuke but the ninja sidestepped him.

"My point exactly," Sasuke said as the vampire kept trying to land a hit on him. He yawned showily around a smirk.

"Fuck you!" the teenager hollered as he lunged at Sasuke again. The ninja grabbed AU Sasuke's fist in a bone crushing grip.

"You are weak." Sasuke stared down at the vampire as the pressure of the grip forced the vampire to fall to his knees. With a harsh growl, AU Sasuke wrenched his hand out of the grasp. He pushed Sasuke, but the ninja stood his ground.

"I am not weak!" he hollered. Then he spun on his heel and ran into the forest, flipping them off until he was out of sight.

"Sasuke!" Suddenly the Uchiha was hit across the back of the head.

"What the hell." Sasuke rubbed the back of his head. That actually hurt!

"I outta hit you again!" Naruto threatened, holding up his fist. Sasuke glared at him.

"You're such a bastard! Why'd you say that to him?" Naruto crossed his arms and frowned at Sasuke. The ninja didn't answer. He glared at Naruto and made his way back to camp. Naruto directed his attention at AU Naruto.

"Can you follow him for me?" Naruto asked. AU Naruto nodded gladly and stumbled off to the campsite. Once Naruto was sure his counterpart had reached the campsite he began to travel the way AU Sasuke had disappeared.

He found the vampire crouched beside a pond, gazing out into nothing. Naruto made sure to make his presence known as to not startle the teen. Slowly, AU Sasuke's glanced toward him.

"Naruto," he acknowledged then he turned back around. The ninja sat beside him. He opened his mouth to say something but AU Sasuke stopped him before he could.

"Don't say anything, please." Naruto's head tilted at the sudden character change. Did the argument affect him that much? Well, Naruto supposed, Sasuke would know what would hit home for his own counterpart the most. Naruto felt anger at this, a fire igniting deep in his heart. Sasuke purposely said things that would piss his own self off! He was so glad he hit the ninja; he had a mind to do it again.

AU Sasuke lay back, sprawling out on the ground and Naruto did the same. The two elapsed into silence.

"Your world is beautiful." AU Sasuke suddenly said. Naruto turned on his side to face him. He was surprised how sober the vampire seemed.

"Is it?"

"Yea. Mine is too industrialized." Naruto nodded although he had no idea what that meant.

"Yours is probably really cool." Naruto offered with a grin, hoping to alleviate AU Sasuke of whatever was bothering him. AU Sasuke sat up with a stretch. Naruto did the same, except he didn't bother stretching.

"You're too sweet. It's a shame it's wasted on that Sasuke." AU Sasuke sighed dramatically but there was a sly smile on his face. Naruto really didn't understand what that meant so he chose to ignore it.

"Let's head back. I need to have a conversation with Sasuke." Naruto growled, standing up. AU Sasuke stood up as well.

"Don't fight him for my sake." He said with a smirk. Naruto shook his head.

"Come on." And they traveled back to the campsite in silence. AU Naruto greeted them, sitting outside of the tent.

"Where is he?" Naruto asked his counterpart. AU Naruto pointed at the tent wordlessly. Naruto disappeared into the tent. With a few yells, Naruto exited the tent minutes later dragging Sasuke behind him.

Sasuke fought out of his grip and got up.

"I can walk." He growled before he followed Naruto into the forest. There two counterparts watched them go. AU Sasuke smirked.

"They fight like a middle aged married couple." AU Naruto didn't respond. He glanced at where they had disappeared worriedly.

Deep in the forest, Naruto lands a hit on Sasuke's face. His lip splits from the impact, blood dripping down his chin. Sasuke was caught off guard by the sudden attack. He was used to the yelling first.

"What the hell!" Oh there it was. "That was low down Sasuke. You knew those words would bother him!"

"Shut up, moron. You're too loud." Sasuke wiped off his mouth, blood staining his pale skin.

"I don't care! You want to get stuck on D-ranks?" Naruto continued to yell. Sasuke's eyes trailed over his enraged face. The flushed cheeks and bright blue eyes. The rapidly moving mouth stretched his lips widely. Sasuke shook his head, trying to focus on what Naruto was yelling.

He felt a headache coming on. He reached forward and grabbed Naruto's shirt in two fisted grips.

"Shut up." He growled, he could feel Naruto heave against him.

"Bastard get o-"Naruto couldn't even finish his sentence because of the mouth that now crashed against his. Sasuke felt Naruto tense as he licked the pink lips, moving his own against them slowly. Sasuke felt the mouth open against his and he seized the opportunity, plunging his own hot tongue into Naruto's mouth. Once he felt Naruto do the same he tensed up. What the hell was he doing? He dropped Naruto and wiped harshly at his mouth, the cut on his mouth stung.

"Idiot." He glared at Naruto as the confused ninja sat on the ground. Sasuke took one look at him and disappeared with a poof of smoke.

Naruto sat on the ground, wiping at his mouth. He felt some blood come off onto his hand. The ninja shuddered and stood. Then, he disappeared as well.

Back at the camp, Naruto saw AU Naruto and AU Sasuke sitting down around a small fire. They seemed to be getting along well enough. Naruto joined them silently.

"Hi." AU Naruto smiled at him shyly, sitting with his legs folded under himself. Naruto tried to smile but it came out more as a grimace.

"What's up with you?" AU Sasuke asked. Naruto couldn't even look at him. He reminded him too much of that infuriated ninja.

"I'm going to sleep. Night." He quickly got up and went into the tent. He was surprised to see Sasuke laying there, facing the mouth of the tent. He frowned, glancing down at the ninja.

"Bastard." He grumbled. Sasuke turned over wordlessly, his back facing Naruto now. Naruto sighed, lying down next to his teammates. He knew Sasuke wasn't sleep and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Oh snap! Well since I do this to _Break Me, Take Me _I now introduce **Questions to consider!**

**1) What will be the final pairings?  
**

**2) When will the AU boys have to leave?  
**

**3) How are they going to survive out in the wild when they've argued already?**

Remember I'm still open to pairings if not just a little fan service :) Thanks for reading!

Review or Flame :)


	6. Chapter 5

Okay, yes this is a tad late. Alright, this is really late. For that I apologize! Sincerely. I've been really busy with college things. Anyway this is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy this one xD

**Disclaimer: ****This literature is purely for recreational purposes. I gain no profit from the story. I do not own any rights to 'Naruto'.**

* * *

**Last Time: **_"What's up with you?" AU Sasuke asked. Naruto couldn't even look at him. He reminded him too much of that infuriated ninja. _

"_I'm going to sleep. Night." He quickly got up and went into the tent. He was surprised to see Sasuke laying there, facing the mouth of the tent. He frowned, glancing down at the ninja. _

"_Bastard." He grumbled. Sasuke turned over wordlessly, his back facing Naruto now. Naruto sighed, lying down next to his teammates. He knew Sasuke wasn't sleep and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. It was going to be a long night. _

Successfully, Naruto was able to ignore the Uchiha for the rest of the night. He actually felt himself fall asleep for a few minutes. Unfortunately, AU Naruto had a nightmare and deemed it necessary to clutch onto his ninja counterpart as hard as possible. Naruto was able to escape the grip with his arm intact.

What kept his attention most was the lingering hand of one AU Sasuke. He seemed as if he needed no sleep at all by the way his hands wandered throughout the night. Naruto was tempted to snap them off. Finally, the sun was up and Naruto could not be any happier. He was sure Sasuke had slept even worse than he had. AU Sasuke's hands lingered on his ninja counterpart's body the most after all. Not that Naruto cared; it was Sasuke's problem for being such a confusing stick in the mud. Yup, it served him right.

Naruto stretched outside of the tent and went in a search for breakfast. There had been none provided in the backpacks, only useless looking things. Naruto took to the trees, although he wasn't eager to get back to camp he didn't want to spend time looking for a meal.

Eventually, he came back with two rabbits. He skinned them and had started a fire before AU Sasuke stepped out of the folds of the tent. He had a smirk upon his face.

"Good morning." He greeted in a husky sleep laced voice. Naruto tensed.

"Mornin'" he responded, wary of the vampire that now sat next to him. AU Sasuke sat pretzel style, and Naruto faintly wondered how his tight pants didn't rip from the strain. He shook away the thought when another came up.

"How come you don't poof away or somethin' in the sun? Aren't vampires allergic to the sun?" AU Sasuke scoffed.

"I'm no weakling." AU Sasuke leaned in to whisper in Naruto's ear. "Although I can show you how weak I can be."

The saucy murmur sent a shiver up Naruto's spine. That voice sounded so like his friend. He shuddered and inched away. AU Sasuke put a hand on his thigh and he slapped it off immediately, as if he was swatting a fly.

"Good morning!" a cheerful AU Naruto greeted the two as he plopped down next to Naruto as well. Naruto smiled kindly at him. This guy, at least as far as he knew, had not molested him last night like AU Sasuke had.

"Smells delicious." AU Naruto complimented as his nose scrunched up. That was when Naruto realized he was still cooking the rabbits. He grinned at his counterpart.

"Thanks!"

Suddenly, a heavy weight settled upon the campsite as Sasuke exited the tent. Naruto scowled at the ninja. He didn't acknowledge any of them as he walked past. He simply paused for an instant before he took off into the forest.

AU Sasuke whistled.

"Damn! What didn't crawl up his ass?" Naruto shot him a hard stare before he glanced back at the forest. The way Sasuke disappeared. He got up and dusted himself off. Without a look back, he disappeared into the forest as well.

He followed the erratic chakra and soon saw his friends back. The Uchiha was still moving away from the camp but now he just walked. Naruto's scowl returned as he approached the ninja.

"Sasuke!" he growled as he lunged at the Uchiha. Of course, he evaded it expertly. Naruto stood there, clenching his fist as his friend turned around. Sasuke stared at him blankly.

"What?" he asked heatedly, as if Naruto was interrupting him. Naruto crossed his arms.

"You know what!" he huffed. Sasuke sighed and turned back around.

"Sasuke do you-" Naruto's voice shook as he swallowed, "do you like me or somethin'?"

Sasuke scoffed.

"Of course not." Naruto laughed nervously.

"Oh ok." He grinned weakly. Sasuke stared back and Naruto noticed a thin line of red across his nose. Naruto's grin gained strength and it widened fully.

"You're lying!" he cheered, not really sure why he was so excited about that fact. Sasuke glared at him.

"Drop it Naruto." Sasuke said threateningly. Naruto's smile dropped.

"No," Naruto bit back at him just as threatening. He stepped forward invading his friend's personal space. Sasuke glared him down, Naruto glared back.

Suddenly, they felt a powerful chakra. Sasuke activated his sharingan. He recognized that chakra signature.

"Sasu-"

"I know." This conversation would have to wait, as they propelled themselves back to the clearing.

Their thoughts were confirmed when they reached the edge of the clearing.

"Itachi!" Sasuke gnashed out as AU Sasuke was sent flying. Itachi had landed a kick to his stomach. AU Naruto sat frozen, gazing at the powerful criminal with wide blue eyes. AU Sasuke landed with a grunt. Itachi straightened and turned toward the two ninja.

Sasuke and Naruto readied their weapons.

"You're shadow clones seem to have malfunctioned, foolish little brother, Naruto-kun." Naruto sweatdropped while Sasuke stared blankly, the hate leaving his face. The absurdity of that statement threw him off. Naruto burst into laughter suddenly as Itachi had to push AU Sasuke away from him. AU Sasuke sulked on the ground.

"We aren't clones or whatever the hell you think!" AU Sasuke said heatedly. Itachi redirected his attention.

"Oh?" the criminal inquired. Sasuke lunged at his brother, hand alight with chidori. Itachi slid out of the way easily.

"Such delicious power." AU Sasuke licked his lips and lunged for the criminal as well. Itachi side stepped him just as easily.

"Hey Itachi," AU Sasuke purred as he appeared beside Itachi. His canines were long and his eyes were reddish brown. Before the ninja could reply AU Sasuke appeared in front of him.

"Let's screw." If he wasn't so geared up to kill, Sasuke would have laughed at Itachi's aghast expression. Naruto couldn't help the slight laugh he let out. AU Naruto still sat frozen. The power this man was exuded almost worked as a paralysis.

"Excuse me?"

AU Sasuke smirked as he attempted to cop a feel. Itachi almost broke off his arm, had AU Sasuke not been a vampire he'd have been killed by now.

"You heard me. Let's fuck. Prudy pants over there won't give me any, I haven't seen my Itachi in _days _and the two blondies are already screwing so come _on_. Drop those pants, I'm waiting."

Besides Naruto's adamant denial that he was having sex with his counterpart it was deadly silent. Even Sasuke decided to wait this one out. He sat next to AU Naruto, almost wishing he had popcorn to enjoy this show. AU Sasuke was going to die now.

"Excuse my reiteration but you claim to have engaged in intercourse with an Itachi. Is this correct?"

"Oh yes. My brother from my universe. Pretty good screw too. The Uchiha girth runs in the family doesn't it?" AU Sasuke gave the criminal a saucy smirk. Itachi's eyes flicked over to Sasuke. The ninja had gone from amused to disgust. He didn't need images. Especially when the man in said images was right in front of him. Sasuke shuddered.

Itachi nodded to himself, and in a totally unUchihalike fashion, promptly fainted in the middle of the clearing.

"Damn, I guess I was too sexy for him." AU Sasuke shrugged to himself with a sigh and crossed his arms. He sat on the log Sasuke had previously sat on and sulked.

"…What just happened?" Naruto laughed sheepishly. Sasuke glared at him as he bent over to sling his brother over his shoulder.

"We need to head back to Konoha." Sasuke said needlessly. Naruto sighed and nodded. He walked over to AU Naruto and patted his head.

"We're gonna head back to my town alright?" AU Naruto nodded wordlessly before he got up as well. Suddenly, he was swaying on his feet.

"Are you ok!" Naruto more yelled than asked. AU Naruto waved him off but soon he was on the floor as well, passed out.

Naruto screamed in agitation.

"What's with everyone passing out suddenly!" he yelled as he bent over to pick up AU Naruto.

"I can carry him for you." AU Sasuke whispered from behind him.

"No thanks." Naruto replied gruffly. AU Sasuke frowned and went right back to sulking. They ran back to the village, not having time to figure out the tunnel.

The look on Tsunade's face was priceless when they burst into her office. First, she was outraged that they had interrupted her busy schedule (read: drinking time) but once she slowly recognized the Uchiha on Sasuke's back she pardoned them. For now.

In a flurry she had the two unconscious males taken care of. AU Naruto was put in the medical ward for observation and a checkup. Itachi was immediately taken to the prison hospital.

"Report." She finally said after the madness was over. The two ninja stood in front of her. AU Sasuke leaned on the wall, apparently back to sulking. He was largely ignored.

Sasuke recited what happened professionally, leaving out bits and pieces. He downplayed the whole conversation, acting as if Itachi just passed out because he felt like it.

It was obvious Tsunade was skeptic.

"I'll tell you what really happened." AU Sasuke adjusted his skin tight bottoms and stepped forward. Sasuke glared at him.

"That won't be necessary. I've given a detailed report."

AU Sasuke scoffed.

"I'll hear what you have to say." Tsunade conceded, she could tell Sasuke wasn't telling the whole truth. This was confirmed when Sasuke had a wicked grin on his face.

Tsunade smirked and leaned in. This should be good.

Later, Naruto joined AU Sasuke and Sasuke in their temporary room. Naruto was so bored in his room all alone. He was glad their "camping trip" was cut short. It seemed as though every activity was cut short. He had to grin at the thought. This mission would be a breeze if that continued to happen!

"Do you have any 3's?" Naruto stuck his tongue out at AU Sasuke.

"Go fish." AU Sasuke sighed and reached into the pile to grab another card.

"Look at all this fun you're missing bastard." Naruto chirped. Sasuke was laying on his bed, his back to them. He refused to join their game. He ignored their existence in fact. Naruto knew he wasn't sleep.

"Shut up." Naruto grinned. At least he got a response that time. AU Sasuke cleared his throat and Naruto looked at him sheepishly. Right, pay attention to the game.

"Do you have any fucks?"

"What?"

"…what?"

"What did you just ask me!"

"Do you have any Jacks?"

"That's not what you said!"

"Yes it was." AU Sasuke looked at him incredulously but Naruto could see it. He could see the mischief and horniness in his eyes!

"Arrgh!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke growled from his place on the bed.

"Make me bastard!" Naruto was getting fed up with both of these Sasukes. Sasuke ignored him. Naruto huffed and threw his cards down.

"Let's do something else." AU Sasuke smirked.

"Not. That." Naruto growled.

AU Sasuke sighed dramatically, placing a hand on his forehead. He opened his mouth to say something when the door slammed open.

"Naruto is awake." Tsunade informed them. If the two Sasuke's could see each other they'd known they made the same 'whoopdee-fucking-doo" face. Naruto on the other hand was joyous.

"Is he ok? Can I go see him?" Tsunade was accustomed to his volume so she just nodded.

"Follow me."

AU Sasuke chuckled to himself and slowly crawled over to Sasuke's bed.

"Don't touch me." Sasuke hadn't even moved from his spot. AU Sasuke grinned and kept moving, slowly and crouched low to the ground.

"I'll rip off your penis." AU Sasuke paused and weighed his options. He eventually pouted and went to sit on his bed.

Naruto practically plowed down the hospital room door. AU Naruto sat in the bed, a calm smile on his face. Naruto found himself easily smiling back.

"How do you feel?" he asked, pulling up a chair. AU Naruto fidgeted slightly and looked away.

"I'm doing alright. Sorry." He blushed, his golden ears back against his head. Naruto looked at him weirdly.

"You sure you're ok?" AU Naruto nodded quickly his wide blue eyes looking into his counterpart's. Naruto continued to stare at him.

"Well…"

"Yea? What's wrong?" AU Naruto continued to fidget, he colored more vibrantly. He made a whining noise and glanced away. Naruto tried to squash away his impatience. He was starting to get a little agitated.

"So? Spit it out!" AU Naruto mumbled something.

"Eh?"

"I said…I'm not in heat."

"Really? Isn't that a good thing?" Naruto failed to see what had his counterpart so flustered.

AU Naruto mumbled something again. Naruto frowned.

"What?"

"Please don't yell." Naruto looked at AU Naruto incredulously. Why would he yell? When did he ever yell? (Naruto is quite delusional.)

"I won't yell."

"Well erm.." AU Naruto mumbled something again.

"Didn't catch that." Naruto semi-whispered.

"I'm pregnant." Naruto nodded. Oh alright that's cool...wait. AU Naruto saw the ninja's expressions change.

"You said you wouldn't-"

"WHAT!"

"…yell."

* * *

That's it for now :) Thanks for reading.

**Questions to Consider**

**1) What will Itachi contribute to the plot? (...there's a plot?)  
**

**2) When will AU Sasuke get laid D:  
**

**3) Will Sasuke ever come around?  
**

AND DON'T FORGET. I am pretty definite with the pairings for this buuut I am very open to providing some fan service ;) Cast your votes! Oh and would you like any of the other ninja to meet the AU guys? Who and why?


	7. Chapter 6

Hello! This is getting updated today because I'll be busy on Saturday!

I'm updating this instead of Break Me, Take Me because I've been depressed lately so I wanted to make something funny instead :D

**Disclaimer: ****This literature is purely for recreational purposes. I gain no profit from the story. I do not own any rights to 'Naruto'.**

* * *

**Last Time:**_"How do you feel?" he asked, pulling up a chair. AU Naruto fidgeted slightly and looked away. _

"_I'm doing alright. Sorry." He blushed, his golden ears back against his head. Naruto looked at him weirdly. _

"_You sure you're ok?" AU Naruto nodded quickly his wide blue eyes looking into his counterpart's. Naruto continued to stare at him. _

"_Well…"_

"_Yea? What's wrong?" AU Naruto continued to fidget, he colored more vibrantly. He made a whining noise and glanced away. Naruto tried to squash away his impatience. He was starting to get a little agitated._

"_So? Spit it out!" AU Naruto mumbled something._

"_Eh?"_

"_I said…I'm not in heat." _

"_Really? Isn't that a good thing?" Naruto failed to see what had his counterpart so flustered._

_AU Naruto mumbled something again. Naruto frowned. _

"_What?" _

"_Please don't yell." Naruto looked at AU Naruto incredulously. Why would he yell? When did he ever yell? (Naruto is quite delusional.) _

"_I won't yell." _

"_Well erm.." AU Naruto mumbled something again. _

"_Didn't catch that." Naruto semi-whispered. _

"_I'm pregnant." Naruto nodded. Oh alright, wait. AU Naruto saw his expressions change._

"_You said you wouldn't-"_

"_WHAT!" _

"…_yell." _

"How is that even possible!"

"Get off of me!" Tsunade shoved Naruto off of her, he'd been whining to her for the past half hour, following her everywhere. He was surely to get rug burn at the rate in which he was being dragged. He'd attached to her as soon as he found her, wanting answers.

Now, as they stood in her office Tsunade couldn't ignore him as expertly as she had.

"He's _pregnant_." Naruto stressed, rubbing his head where she's hit him.

"I'm aware, brat."

"Well then _why_? How does that happen! He's a guy! …I think." Naruto suddenly adopted a contemplative face, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Tsunade felt her face twitch.

"Of course he's male!" Tsunade boomed and that gained Naruto's attention.

"Then how did he get pregnant?" Naruto suddenly gasped in horror.

"What if while I was sleeping I performed Sexy no Jutsu but somehow it worked on him instead of me and he got female parts-"

"Brat."

"That worked fine and then I molested him in his sleep. And poor in heat Naruto was a slave to my charismatic touch-

"Brat."

"but then Kyuubi took over and I couldn't control myself and then I impregnated him!" Naruto shrieked.

"Naruto!" Tsunade shouted finally, her patience snapped.

"I'm a rapist!" Naruto shrieked again running around the office wildly.

"Naruto calm down!" Tsunade forcibly grabbed him by his shoulders. "You didn't do this!"

Naruto's stopped with the hysterics.

"I…didn't?"

"No." She sat down behind her desk and rubbed her temples. This generation of ninja was past screwed in the head. "My guess is that his partner impregnated him before he arrived here. By the looks of it he's farther along than the duration of his visit here."

"Oh." Naruto suddenly grinned. "That's great for him then!"

Tsunade glared back.

"Get out of my office!"

"But!"

"Now!"

Naruto scampered away; he needed to talk to AU Naruto anyhow.

AU Sasuke snickered to himself as he easily infiltrated the room. Silly ninja Trix are for kids …errr AU Sasuke was not daunted by your primitive shinobi ways! Yea!

He slid open the door quietly. And there rested his prize. Lying there silently, his eyes closed. AU Sasuke dropped the grin and tried to act cool. He practically slithered over to the bed.

He licked his lips; the ninja was bound to the bed by chains.

_Note to self: Steal some of this kinky ninja binding shit. _

"Big Brother." He whispered into the ninja's ear. The criminal opened his eyes quicker than AU Sasuke expected him to. He smirked as the man looked over to him.

"Why hello." AU Sasuke said sultrily, sitting down on the bed purposely.

"Who are you?" Itachi's red eyes were narrowed and calculating.

"Sasuke Uchiha. Nice to meet you, sexy. Now that introductions are out of the way…" he trailed off and sat on Itachi's stomach. He pulled out some duct tape and slapped it across Itachi's mouth.

Itachi bucked, trying to throw him off.

"Oh no. Save that for later." AU Sasuke laughed as he pulled out the kunai he stole.

He started humming as started cutting off Itachi's shirt while the criminal fought for all he was worth. He leaned down for a kiss when the door swung open with a slam.

"I knew I'd find you here." AU Sasuke sighed and sat up.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" Sasuke brandished Kusanagi dangerously. Itachi had never been so happy to see his brother and considering the situation it was a weird sensation to have.

"Get off of him. You have three seconds." Sasuke summoned forth chakra, prepared to use force if necessary.

AU Sasuke did get off of the rogue ninja but he stayed on the bed. He crossed his arms.

"Oh piss off Sasuke. Can't you see I'm trying to get laid right now?"

Sasuke raised Kusanagi and the lightning stretched over the blade, crackling with dangerous power.

"I don't like to repeat myself."

AU Sasuke glanced at the sharp sword and sighed.

"Fine." He bit out getting up. Sasuke stopped the influx of chakra.

"Hey! You shouldn't be in here!" A guard cried, joining the Uchiha in the small room.

All three shot him an uninterested look. They were Uchiha, you couldn't tell them what to do.

"Maybe if you put out a little more often!"

Itachi began to cough in surprise underneath the duct tape. What had he just heard?

"Don't say it that way. You've never touched me." Sasuke sneered and Itachi felt the heart attack that was forming dissipate.

"Whatever! The fact is you _never _give me any. It's unfair." AU Sasuke turned his nose up irritably.

"You guys need to leave…" The guard was largely ignored and he left the room to go get some reinforcement.

"I am not obligated to drop my pants for you." Sasuke glared. AU Sasuke cringed.

"You are so unsexy."

"Says the one who wants to sleep with said unsexy person." Sasuke snorted. AU Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"We need to end this." He said, a small smirk blossoming on his face.

"First forest past the Hokage Mountain, you have five minutes." And then Sasuke vanished. AU Sasuke smirked in anticipation and he fled the room.

"They're in here!" the young guard said. The more experienced guards ran into the room with him.

All they saw was Itachi strapped to the bed, a line of duct tape across his mouth. The guards all sighed at what they perceived as a practical joke.

"Rookies" They all shook their head and left the room. The baffled young guard left as well. Perhaps he shouldn't have tried those mushrooms after all.

Naruto bounced excitedly in his seat as he prattled about how happy he was for AU Naruto.

"So if it's a girl what will you name her?"

"Huh?" AU Naruto asked, he's tuned the ninja out ages ago. Then he realized what he had said.

"Oh." AU Naruto blushed. "I'd probably name her after Sasuke's mother."

The smile dropped off Naruto's face. Sasuke. The father of this child. Naruto's face screwed up as that sunk in. He hadn't thought of that. A mental image manifested itself in his mind.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww." AU Naruto looked at him questionably, but it was obvious he was hurt by the reaction.

"Is it really that bad?" Naruto realized what he his reaction probably meant to him.

"Oh! That's not what I meant. Ehehehe" Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I mean that'd be awesome." He smiled at AU Naruto; the boy blushed and thanked him.

"So what about if it's a boy? Would you name him after Sasuke's father?" Naruto blinked at the frown that brought on his smaller counterpart's face.

"No way." He looked like he smelled something bad. Naruto decided not to ask.

"Then who?"

"Itachi." Naruto reigned in his reaction, he didn't want to upset AU Naruto again. But, what the hell?

"Why?" He finally croaked out after a small moment of internally freaking out. AU Naruto's face turned sad and his eyes watered.

_Aaannnnd here comes Mr. Sniffles. _Naruto thought.

"Nevermind! Hey! What gender would you want it to be?" AU Naruto brightened at the question.

"A girl!" Naruto marveled at that. He'd want his first born to be a girl as well. He grinned back at his counterpart. They were so much alike!

"I apologize for my little brother's behavior." Itachi watched his counterpart warily. It was odd looking at himself and hearing himself talk as well. He wondered which world this man supposedly came from. If the Sasuke from his world was a pervert he didn't even want to imagine what this Itachi was capable of.

The tall man quickly tore off the duct tape. Itachi didn't even wince. (Like a true macho man!) AU Itachi grabbed the chains and tried to break them. He hissed, his eyes instantly turning a reddish golden color. Itachi watched with interest. That was not sharingan.

AU Itachi's fangs elongated with a growl and he grasped the chains again. This time, he grasped the chains and they instantly melted under his touch. He threw the metal across the floor.

Itachi sat up, glad to be out of his constraints. He still watched the man, activating his sharingan in case of an attack. Surprisingly, he felt no ill intent. Itachi now knew what he was. He's read about Lycans in a fantasy book long ago.

The vampire sat on the bed and suddenly began coughing. He choked into his hand, and red liquid flowed through the crevices of his fingers. Itachi's eyes widened. He had the same illness. Without thinking, he reached into his cloak. The incompetent guards hadn't bothered searching it.

"Try this." Itachi handed the vampire two of his pills. The man accepted them, an eyebrow raised in question. Itachi waited patiently, pocketing his pill bottle yet again.

Finally, the vampire knocked them back dry. He flinched as they instantly began to work. The man felt the foreign power course through his veins. Suddenly, his chest loosened and he breathed experimentally.

The vampire's vibrant eyes widened at the sensation. Itachi raised an eyebrow in question.

"These work very well." AU Itachi acknowledged, still breathing in and out as if he's just come out of the water for air.

"I'm glad they meet your approval." Itachi nodded, his eyes glittering in amusement.

"Thank you." AU Itachi nodded at him, a slight smile on his face. They made eye contact and Itachi glanced away. He didn't like the look in AU Itachi's eyes. He coughed into his hand.

"What is your relationship with your Sasuke?" Itachi wasn't sure why he bothered asking but perhaps AU Sasuke was just horny. He needed to rest his mind on the subject.

"We are lovers."

Itachi nodded. That made sense. AU Sasuke was just horny. Wait. His breath hitched.

"Lovers?" Itachi asked.

"Yes." AU Itachi confirmed. Itachi inwardly cringed. AU Itachi's eyes began to glitter again.

"Itachi…" the vampire put a hang on top of the ninja. The death like grip made Itachi's chakra spike.

"Let go." Itachi said blankly. AU Itachi smirked.

"So fast? Now that I'm feeling better we should have some fun." Itachi wrenched his hand away from his counterpart. So they were both perverts. Well, Itachi would have none of that. Without a backwards glance he fled.

AU Itachi cursed.

"You'll be back!" He didn't realize how true that statement was.

"Took you long enough." Sasuke scoffed out as if AU Sasuke was the dirt beneath his feet. AU Sasuke didn't rise to the bait. He smirked and allowed his fangs to elongate. His senses sharpened and he turned his vivid eyes over on his counterpart.

"Here are the terms. Loser must do the winner's bidding." AU Sasuke looked like he was drooling slightly. Sasuke frowned.

"No."

"Ah. Scared of losing Uchiha?"

"Of course not." Sasuke rolled his eyes at the idea. This battle would be easy.

"Then my terms stand."

"Fine." And with that the Sasukes both launched their attacks.

* * *

Oh shit! More things come into play this chapter! So now we need to redo the pairing suggestions and possible fanservice!

Available Characters!

-Naruto

-AU Naruto

-Sasuke

-AU Sasuke

-Itachi

-AU Itachi

Mix and match and have fun for all :D

**NO QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER THIS WEEK. HAVE A GOOD DAY. **


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